Things I wish I could say to people, but can’t

(gakked from Clarity Sage)

• You look stupid when you wear that hat.
• You have a banana in your ear.
• I wish I had told you that you looked stupid in that hat and had a banana in your ear when you went to propose to your (now) ex-girlfriend.
• I was once raped in the face by an allosaurus, too!
• I think it’s funny that you were born with not all-boy parts.  I’d be funnier if you hadn’t been born with all-girl parts instead.
• It was I that used your name and social security number in order to star as a homosexual porn star Rodrigo Gutierrez Gutierrez
• They say there is no better revenge than living well….  who are you trying to thank?
• I wish I had the guts to say, “You have some nerve!”
• You are addicted to painkillers and you only asked Cuddy to be with you so that she would sleep with you, you jackass.
• What was your name again?
• I slept with your mother, your ex-girlfriend, and your dog.  Actually, the dog mostly just watched.  She’s a freak.
• You look like a hangover feels.
• Whenever I miss you, I wish I’d aimed more carefully.
• I’d say I was over you, but it’s sort of hard to move around you in any finite amount of time. (<–That was a fat joke.) (<–That was a stupid joke.)  ((Ooh, burn!))
• I can’t stop thinking about you.  I also cannot start.
• I sometimes feel the teensiest bit of regret that I imprisoned you for life, wrongly.
• You stole two hours of my life and I want them back!
• (Hmm.  That last one actually applies to two people, now that I think about it.  One is a movie and the other is a sexual act that is illegal in four states and a commonwealth.)
• That whore of a tombstone is what came between us.
• Every sentence I have ever uttered to you is a lie, you Cretin.
• I cheated at spin the bottle, but I’m not apologizing that I made you kiss your sister.  That was just funny.
• It makes me sad when a joke goes on too long, because it means that I had lots of ideas, but after a certain while people just stop caring.  Curse you, Comedy!  You fickle beast, you!

*phew!*  That was therapeutic.  Now, to stop thinking about your mother…  🙂

(gakked from Clarity Sage) You look stupid when you wear that hat. You have a banana in your ear. I wish I had told you that you looked stupid in that hat and had a banana in your ear when you went to propose to your (now) ex-girlfriend. I was once raped in the face…