I played John Cage’s “4?33?” backward and heard a satanic message.
I played John Cage’s “4?33?” backward and heard a satanic message.
Friend, I hardly know thee
Here’s a fun game: pick a friend you know really well then spend an entire evening pretending to be shocked by their normal behaviors as if you didn’t really know them at all. Example using my friend Bre: “Wait, you’re…
Mike: “Have you ever been in an open relationship?” Me: “No.
Mike: “Have you ever been in an open relationship?” Me: “No… I mean, at least not that I was aware of at the time.”
Religion came up four times yesterday.
Religion came up four times yesterday. This is more than July thru November. What the F, holiday parties? What the F?
What I feel when I read @pippki’s pen blog can be called pen’s envy.
What I feel when I read @pippki’s pen blog can be called pen’s envy.
Worst Humanities Movie Plot
Humanities are also usually done terribly in movies. This is a synopsis of the movie with the worst humanities ever: Jersey Jones is a sexy professor of comparative literature at a major private university. He teaches a 0/1 load.1 His…
Brother’s SMS: “A Gallup pole has Obama at a lower approval than Bush.
Brother’s SMS: “A Gallup pole has Obama at a lower approval than Bush. Ohh how the mighty have fallen.” My response: “It’s spelled ‘poll.’”
Contrary to popular belief, Bruce Willis didn’t kill anyone in Die Hard.
Contrary to popular belief, Bruce Willis didn’t kill anyone in Die Hard. On the other hand, John McClane killed a shitload of terrorists.
Rewatching Die Hard for the first time in ten years.
Rewatching Die Hard for the first time in ten years. I’d forgotten what a badass Snape was.
Worst Science Movie Plot
Science is usually done terribly in movies. I know a little bit of science, I think. Enough to make a couple of good scripts. But that’s boring. What I want to see is the opposite. This is a synopsis of…
I want to see a sequel to Groundhog Day where it turns out that he also gets stuck in February 3rd.
I want to see a sequel to Groundhog Day where it turns out that he also gets stuck in February 3rd.
Hypothesis: Chuck Norris’ inexplicable popularity is directly tied into the rise of irony-loving hipsters.
Hypothesis: Chuck Norris’ inexplicable popularity is directly tied into the rise of irony-loving hipsters.
Flat out weird day.
Flat out weird day.. Like it was still 2009. Terrifying. Also, I was wrong about N=2. It is still 1. Totally misread the Internet.
They say the first week off the wagon is the hardest.
They say the first week off the wagon is the hardest.
The Journal of Half-Baked Ideas
My friend Hagop once came up with the idea for a “Journal of Half-Baked Ideas.” I wasn’t actually there to witness it, so I don’t know any of the details wanted to include in it, but I’ve decided to run…
How to piss off a bartender: order a complicated, layered shot.
How to piss off a bartender: order a complicated, layered shot… “and coke.” Pro Tip: Never, ever piss off your bartender.
Pro Tip: If a friend miscarries, it is not a good idea to help her mourn by offering to buy her a drink.
Pro Tip: If a friend miscarries, it is not a good idea to help her mourn by offering to buy her a drink.
Dear Science Fiction: please eliminate the word ‘de-evolution’ from your all of your stories.
Dear Science Fiction: please eliminate the word ‘de-evolution’ from your all of your stories.