Nighttime irrationality hit early today. I’m going to treat this with a nap.

My undergrad didn’t have an honor code, so naturally everyone cheated, murdered, and disgraced their family.

Too many women smiling at me today. How is it they can always tell?

You’re getting older now. You’re going to keep getting hit on by 40-year-old chicks more and more. It peaks at 40, then it trails off a bit.

The least I could do was stay home all day sleeping. This was next least.

I’ve grown used to the check engine light. It comforts me. It’s like my car has a broken heart. It’ll be okay, little guy.

Shoot.. This top ten hugger list is going to be harder than I thought. I must put some consideration into this.

Hm. I think I’m going to rate my all time favorite huggers. @Mablicia and @nikithestampede are both on my top ten for sure..

Robowomen are too hard to design. We should just give regular women lobotomies.

This might be an unpopular thing to say, but insurance companies are poopoo heads.

I only moderate in binges.

I only binge in moderation.

Binge anything sounds bad. Binge eat, binge drink, binge workout, binge childbirth.

Why does every press feel like it’s going to crush my windpipe?

The weather channel says it’s raining right now, but my window disagrees.

The year of a creative challenge every week was too much of a time commitment for me. New Year Resolution fail.

My favorite phrases today: “Heroic nudity” and “reluctant sexual partner.”

In movies, you sometimes see happy revelations that turn horrible things into good things all along. In life it’s usually the reverse.