Things I didn’t do before I turned 25

Five years ago I made this list:

1. Have a terrible secret discovered (preferrably not by someone malevolent)

   None of you know it yet, do you?  (Please don’t.  It’s ever so terrible.)

2. Be hit on by three girls in one 24 hour period

   This has happened on numerous occasions.
   

3. Be interviewed by a famous magazine, paper, website, or tv show

   I thought I was going to be cooler than I ended up being.

4. Be wooed over

   Happened fairly recently.

5. Change an unjust situation

   Into a more unjust situation….  Man, Future Me is a dick.

6. Date someone famous

   I don’t know why I thought this was admirable.

7. Do the splits

   I’m 105° of 180° there!

8. Experience a deep, personal, life-changing loss

   R.I.P. Kyle Weber.  I don’t know how life-changing it was, but it was pretty sad.

9. Get paid (well?) for my writing

   I think grad school counts as that.
   

10. Get into a fight (and win?)

    Oh, I made him cry.

11. Have a pet

    Hm.  I guess that desire eventually went away.

12. Have a secret girlfriend

    It’s not as cool as you’d think it’d be.
    

13. Have a wish come true

    I wish I hadn’t wished this.

14. Kill someone (justly?)

    … I don’t want to talk about this.

15. Learn to Skateboard

    I halfway did.

16. Learn to whistle

    I halfway did.

17. Live on my own, through my own means

    It would be sad if I hadn’t accomplished this.

18. Love and be loved in return

    Never at the same time.

19. Make a living doing what I love (no pun intended)

    I guess you could say I did that once or twice.  Sadly, it wasn’t what I thought it would be and it made me fall out of love with it both times.

20. Okay, sure, pun intended

    I don’t know what the pun was.  Porn? Sugar Mommas?
    

21. Not let someone down

    Sorry, world.  I always let people down eventually.  Maybe my standards for myself are too high.

22. Predict something eerie

    I predict that Gordon Brown was molested as a young boy by the pope and will seek vengeance in the form of nuclear warfare soon…  That wasn’t what I meant by this, but I think it should still count.

23. Prove something possible to a disbeliever

    I used modal logic.

24. Prove something impossible to a believer

    I’ve made a couple of people lose their faith.  Again, not what I had in mind, but I’ll take it.

25. Read the great books that changed the world (I’m already half-way through with reading the list)

    I read one more title of a book since then.

26. Repair a lost friendship

    Most of my friendships waver in intensity over time, but I’ve never fully won back a friend I’d fully lost.

27. Run a marathon (half-way there too)

    Nope.  But I’m friends with people that have or will have run a marathon.

28. See the pieces fit together perfectly

    I was really into chess then. Or maybe I thought that this would eventually make sense to Future Me.  It didn’t.  Fuck.

29. Stretch

    *Yawn*
    

30. Write my autobiography

    I’ve written more than I’d care to mention.