Dear Australia,
Why do you hate visitors? Do you think we smell bad? Are we jerks? Do we take all of your jobs? Or do you just think we’re going to bring rabbits into you and watch them wreck havok? I know…
Pixel
Pixel Q. refuses to talk about himself. If thou wishest, thou may infer from his blog what thou wishest.
1881: Secret treaty between Austria and Serbia
(boy, I wonder how that turns out) Is it possible for a blog to have too many features? I argue it’s not. Old-timey visitors (from the 1920s or even from just yesterday) will note a few spectacular changes on the…
Deep, like a llama
People are like… permanent markers: the more you shoplift, the more likely your pants are to get written on. socks: because you wear them on the inside of shoes. clouds: they float in the sky and look fluffy, but they…
June 27, 2007
I need to rethink my naming of these daily posts. Frankly, I’m not seriously discussing June, the 27th OR 2007. But can you imagine if I did? Wouldn’t it be awesome? *scene: the Internet, you are reading another well-crafted blog…
June 26, 2007
Do you think Judas got ripped off when he sold Jesus out for 30 pieces of silver? How much would you have asked for? Would you have done it? Would you have kissed Jesus? On the lips? With tongue? I…
June 25, 2007
My 13-year-old cousin is on Myspace. Not My Space in particular, but the Web site Myspace. Obviously her profile is terrible. I mean, she’s 13! I didn’t know any CSS when I was 13. I barely know any now. However,…
How to deal with wrong number text messages
Them: From: +19152222904 To: Me 06/24/07 13:37 How was the party yesterday? Me: From: +19158678669 To: +19152222904 06/24/07 13:40 TERRIBLE!! two guys raped and beat me… i think i’m going to kill myself 🙁 can you come over? …
The 10 Ways to Leave the Blogosphere
There are several tried and true strategies. I shall list them in order of lamest to most awesometacular. Final post apologizing for the suckiness of your blog. *sigh* I cannot understand why you would attach your name to something you…
When I wake up in the mornin’ and the ‘larm gives off a warnin’…
I did this today for a non-profit organization, but since I’ve not been in a school system that had one of those old-timey bells (ever), I don’t actually know what it’s supposed to look like. This is as close as…
Pixel and the Curse of the Perfect Memory
Damn it, the bastards at keithandthegirl.com (no hyperlink to you, jerks), ruined the last Harry Potter book for me. They said who dies and who kills who. Now I’m trying to unlearn the information with as much disinformation as I…