Ind e-Pen # LI, Three small words, Josie and the Pussycats

The Ind e-Pen

+++vol+1+++BT+51+++

Introduction

==================

Have you ever been in a secluded area with a large group of people, expecting one or all but one of them might go missing? And none of them do? So then you think that maybe, just MAYBE, you’re not in the horror movie that you thought you were? So you start thinking that you might be in a spoof? But then kooky happens either? So then you think you might be in another type of movie? And you take off your pants and jacket…

My Bother, the Jerk

——————————————

I was going to dedicate this entire week to defending/attacking Butt, Daniel, and T-Bone’s arguments. I was going to compare religion to opium (including some nifty places were you can buy one get one free) and question the validity of my 2.5 good friends’ reasoning..

… then my brother showed up and I decided to move religion to next week and talk about this infinitely more important subject.

My bother and I have always had an interesting relationship: he drives me crazy and I reap the benefits.. or failures. Whatever makes it easier to write a fun article (Here’s a fun project: live a lifetime of happiness, then get a younger brother and live in misery forever. Then… tell me what it’s like, because my older brother is asleep).

Anyway, my bother has an interesting way of getting things done: he yells across the house and gets me to do them. For instance, say he could not think of how to spell the word ‘discern.’ Now, he is sitting in front of a computer that has Microsoft Word open in one window, and an online dictionary open in another.

Also, he happens to be sitting next to a dictionary, thesaurus, and an encyclopedia, all conveniently open to the word ‘discern,’ which happens to be highlighted.

Now, the average person would type it in the computer, check to see if a squiggly red line appeared under it, and move on. My bother would not. He would yell across the house (or call me on his cell phone if I were not nearby), and ask me.

Now, you’re probably thinking that this isn’t all that annoying. Wait. I’m not done yet.

My bother would yell across the house, ask me to come to whatever closet he happens to be in, wait until I’m right in front of him, and then ask me. And I’ll patiently spell it out for him ‘Dee, eye, ess, see, ee, are, en,’ then walk back to wherever I happened to be before he called me, realize what happened, and fume about it silently (or perhaps write an article)

And I never learn. It doesn’t matter what it is, my bother always has me do the grunt work– which I do without forethought– and it pisses me off. So I tell him about it, then I yell at him, then I start slipping sedatives in his drinks..

One of these days I’m going to learn.

Now if you’ll excuse me, my brother’s calling me.

Three Words to Ruin An Otherwise Healthy Relationship

——————————————————-

• I love you.
• I hate you.
• I’m a lesbian.
• I am gay.
• Jesus was gay.
• Your brother’s hot.
• Your mom’s hot.
• Your dog’s hot.
• That boy’s hot.
• My crotch itches.
• I hate Jews.
• Pee on me.
• I’m a man.
• I’m a woman.
• Marry me, Linda (if your name isn’t Linda).
• Marry me, Butt (if it is).
• Virgin ’till Marriage.
• I’m your cousin.
• I’m your sister.
• I’m your brother.
• I voted Bush.
• I voted Kerry.
• I voted Nader.
• Ha ha ha!
• Sorry I laughed.
• I’m an Atheist.
• I’m a Christian.
• I hate Christians.
• No hablo inglés.
• I like Carlos.
• HA HA HA!!!
• Is it in?
• That’s pretty small.
• I’m… poorly endowed.
• Your… penis is tiny.
• Mmm…. Mucho Poopalicioso!
• Death by Mambo!
• Hi, I’m Carlos.

A Small Quiz:

1. If YOU were in a horror/elimination movie, when (if ever) would you die?

2. Three words that would end your relationship?

3. Are humans inherently superior to other animals?

The Ind e-Pen +++vol+1+++BT+51+++ Introduction ================== Have you ever been in a secluded area with a large group of people, expecting one or all but one of them might go missing? And none of them do? So then you think that maybe, just MAYBE, you’re not in the horror movie that you thought you were?…