..soon they all came to realize that there was a definite method to his madness… and that his madness was methodical..

This is part of the “So you want to be a sociopath” series of pixelated gaming:

Mean juxtaposition:”

Combine two extreme opposites in a list in the hopes that the person you’re talking to (preferrably on IM) will respond to the first and expected last as one… only to realize too late that they were just jerks.

Example:

2: So, I got a new puppy today…
1: That’s nice.
2: And a 100 % on my Final exam…
1: cool, cool.
2: And I got a new girlfriend and a new DVD player…
2: And Herpes.
1: Congrats
1: Wait. No! Sorry. I’m talking about the gf and DVD player.
2: Bastard.
2: Oh.. sorry.
2: You’re still a bastard, though… jackass.

Sayonara Small Talk:”

When speaking with someone you barely know, ask coarse, random, insightful, or personal questions as if you’d known them for years. The goal is to eliminate all ‘small talk’ from the face of the planet.

1: So, how are you?
2: Good. And do you think Emma Watson is attractive? Also, what is the good life and how does one lead it? And how big is your penis?

Oh. And parental advisory: this post uses the word ‘penis.’

Twice.

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