Tao of Gabe
Gabe the Didactic Beaver here, your eyewitness to the recent SAM and MUSC elections 2005.
To recap: last year there were no elections, this year there were. Like all issues, however, this has multiple sides. On the one hand, students were denied their civil liberties and the money they thought was going to the Uni was stolen like so many jelly beans from an elderly diabetic’s medicine cabinet, but on the other hand, democracy is so much more effective without the people’s input.
This year, the elections, perhaps as a response to prior apathy, but more than likely as an early birthday present for me, were vicious. So vicious that security had to be called—multiple times (prank called, but still).
To be a better informed voter, I asked the various candidates and candidate supporters what they stood for and what they would do about X, Y, and Z if elected (X, Y, and Z seemed more pressing than B, C, and M at the time. Obviously I was mistaken).
Without fail, the candidate supporters attempted to defer all questions to their candidates. If we asked “how are you today?”
They would respond, “he’s over in the pink shirt. You see him? The one kicking that small puppy?”
To be fair, the candidates themselves often faired no better to my biting questions. (“Don’t you just hate white people?”)
After about six candidates, I decided to have fun. To a group of pink-shirts, I asked, “what is your opinion on transparency?” To which the response was a collective shiver and an explanation of how democratic rights would make meetings inefficient (seriously).
In the end, I managed to make friendly acquaintances and enemies of a wide range of pseudo-political figures. Luckily, mostly enemies made it to a position of power. So if you don’t see me in the future… try looking in the present.
Lover’s apathy,
Gabe D. Beaver
“Remember Kids: it is your democratic duty to make politicians squirm.”
Apparently this column will not be printed because it gives the impression of racism.
I might add that all of the pink shirts were Asian. It’s irrelevant, as their political strategies and past record would be equally bad regardless of their race, but I understand Karl’s reluctance to print something like this.
No worries.
My apologies for not having the courage to print it last year. In December Victor told me I better have a good lawyer. Now what I’m wondering is why I can’t just borrow one of his bad lawyers…