Yeah, well that's generally what these feel like.

Things not to buy online

  • A wife
  • Children
  • Pets
  • Shoes, apparently
  • Used clothing, esp. underwear
  • Happiness
  • A tattoo
  • A kidney
  • Drugs, esp. across state lines
  • Honduran slaves
  • Dominican slaves
  • Bomb-making instructions and ingredients
  • Dignity
  • Penis/breast-enlargement devices1
  • Absolution
  1. If you must, get one or the other but not both. [↩]

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  3. Something Serious
  4. Oh, god…

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