Worst Humanities Movie Plot
- by Pixel
Humanities are also usually done terribly in movies. This is a synopsis of the movie with the worst humanities ever:
Jersey Jones is a sexy professor of comparative literature at a major private university. He teaches a 0/1 load. ((though the ‘1’ is an online course during the summer, so he barely goes to class except for between plot points)) His major grants allow him to explore literary theories throughout the world.
Col. Voldemort comes one day to visit Jones in order to enlist his expertise in comparative Astro-Egyptology. Jones’ help is needed in order to break a satanic code hidden within the Bible. Jones is paired up with a sexy seductress that– like most women– is turned on by men in the humanities. Together they fly out to Cairo to find the original version of the Bible. While there, they encounter a hidden passage in a very popular building. ((Somehow Jones’ two minute assessment was able to discover what centuries of reconstruction and habitation missed.)) But they are trapped in the passage by a strange group of mercenaries. Jones and the seductress only manage to escape via an exciting passage that leads into a local body of water.
The code turns out to be designs for a mind control device that greatly resembles the Pope’s hat. Just then, Col. Voldemort appears and reveals that he is secretly evil. He locks up the couple while he goes to Vatican City in an attempt to steal the Pope’s hat. Jones uses double-reverse psychology to hypnotize their guards into committing ritualistic suicide. Then Jones and the sexy seductress fly to Vatican City to save the Pope… and the world. Jones arrives in time to stop Col. Voldemort by doing some quick philosophy to prove it is logically necessary that the Pope hat be undisturbed. Col. Voldemort is then left a heaping mess of nothingness and crucified by Vatican police.
Later, Jones flies back to teach a seminar he barely prepared for.
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Humanities are also usually done terribly in movies. This is a synopsis of the movie with the worst humanities ever: Jersey Jones is a sexy professor of comparative literature at a major private university. He teaches a 0/1 load. ((though the ‘1’ is an online course during the summer, so he barely goes to class…