Take my word for it.
Take my word for it. The word on the street is a swear word.
How Guys Can Avoid Getting Mugged
A friend of mine recently told me that the best thing to do when someone tries to rob you is whatever they want. They’ve already broken the social contract. You don’t know what else they’re capable of, so you should…
I need to stop taking things out on myself.
I need to stop taking things out on myself. It’s too expensive.
I need to buy a key locator device.
I need to buy a key locator device. I wonder if they make them in convenient keychain format.. :-/
That guy is trying to look like me, but he’s a hideous impostor.
That guy is trying to look like me, but he’s a hideous impostor… So, I guess he’s doing a good job.
I have Sesame Street smarts.
I have Sesame Street smarts.
The Sarah Project
My good friend Sarah is leaving the country for two years. This is sad for a lot of us, as she is a good friend. It’s hard to be away from a person that is a social bedrock and a…
I love it when psychoanalysts fail.
I love it when psychoanalysts fail. It gives me such schadenFreud.
‘Ja’ is German for ‘yes.
‘Ja’ is German for ‘yes.’ It is also German for ‘yeah,’ ‘yup,’ ‘uh-huh,’ and ‘word.’
I made a linear plot that shows that my banging of your mom increases linearly as a function of time.
I made a linear plot that shows that my banging of your mom increases linearly as a function of time. …sorry if that joke was too graphic
I bet B.
I bet B.F. Skinner was emotionally unavailable.
Euro Super Friend Bash begins NOW.
Euro Super Friend Bash begins NOW. 😀
“JK!” She said, apologetically.
“JK!” She said, apologetically. “I’m Rowling.” I replied, sternly.
My air conditioner blows.
My air conditioner blows. It is so cold to me.
Btw, I leave for Europe tomorrow, am tripping on sweet drink and insomnia, and have a major paper due tonight.
Btw, I leave for Europe tomorrow, am tripping on sweet drink and insomnia, and have a major paper due tonight. Twitter updates WILL follow..
Hour 24 of drinking Tab.
Hour 24 of drinking Tab. I’ve made my way through 9 cans of it, slept 3 hours, and not yet peed. Also, I think I’m seeing pixelation irl….
It bothers me that my once new bed has stains on it now.
It bothers me that my once new bed has stains on it now. I should stop eating pasta at night… while doing it.
I’m both sleepy and weary.
I’m both sleepy and weary. The only other way I could be tired would be if my jokes had been done before.