I’ve been waiting at home all day for the UPS guy to deliver me a new, hi-tech way to floss.

I’ve been waiting at home all day for the UPS guy to deliver me a new, hi-tech way to floss.

… I am old. “Sorry I’m late for dinner, I just got new floss and I wanted to try it out.”
-Me in fifteen minutes.
This dental hygiene package is the best $200 I’ve ever spent.

… And I’m including that time I paid my mother’s ransom.

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