Pixel

I am wondering… what percentage of people use Twitter the way the welcome video suggests you should? That is what I am doing right now.

Don’t mind her, it’ll be her time of the month in a few weeks.

I can’t remember the last time I had that much alcohol… No really.

I hate Valentine’s Day episodes. They just make me feel inadequate and unloved. Yes, that even happens with Liz Lemon getting a root canal.

I feel the need to apologize for how unwitty I’ve been, but I only like to post witty things and I can’t think of a witty way to say it.

You can’t buy alcohol until 12:05 Sundays? How do people make it through church then?

My shopping list is… Everything.

Note: don’t download the latest iphone firmware. *Ahem* Can someone send that note back in time to my past self? You can just call him, too. He still has a working phone.

I get Twitter, but I just don’t understand Facebook status updates. I mean, who cares what you had for breakfast?