How to stay friends with an ex

It’s a multi-step process, actually.  I’ll divide it into Before, During, After, and Throughout. Before Be friends.  Let simmer for at least three months, but ideally six. Treat your friends and their friends well. Sprinkle good experiences throughout. During Don’t…

Stupid things you can do after a break up

I.  Go back to her Beg Plead Negotiate Claim to just want to “talk” Pretend that you just really want to go back to being her friend II.  Confrontation With her a.  In public b.  In private c.  Out of…

Nice Guys Screw Themselves

She calls you up late at night complaining about the latest jerk thing her assenine boyfriend did to her. You’re busy and you can’t use your phone for very much longer, but you stay on the line and listen because…

Gabe the High-Brow Beaver

Dear Gabe, Why do people shave their eyebrows? -Seattle-based Service Administrator. Dear Ass-backwards, You are probably saying this in remarks to what a local editor of a local paper did to his local face. Well, the most simple response to…

Gabe v. Joseph Lovato

Dear Gabe, I have a friend that’s having some problems with his mates. See, this friend, let’s call him Fishypoo, is living with this guy, let’s call him donkeybuttbrain, who is not your typical roommate. Assuming your typical roommate doesn’t…

Gabe, the Internet Guru

Dear Gabe, I’ve taken a liking to boy bands. Is that bad? –Joe Pop Dear Joe, There’s absolutely nothing wrong with boy bands. In fact, they are some of that most talended musicians out there in the music biz today.…