Guy with jumper cables outside a restaurant: “hey, can you help me out, man?” Me: “I’ll catch you on the way out.
Guy with jumper cables outside a restaurant: “hey, can you help me out, man?” Me: “I’ll catch you on the way out.”
I lost the beanie my BFF gave me for X-Mas.
I lost the beanie my BFF gave me for X-Mas.. And she gave it to me Yesterday! ),:
It’s good that Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell is over, but it’s a travesty that they still let left-handed people in the military.
It’s good that Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell is over, but it’s a travesty that they still let left-handed people in the military. #lefthandedracism
Registered carloscraziness.
Registered carloscraziness.com. If any Carloses out there want to have a March Madness-style tournament of your friends, you’re out of luck!
The biggest correlate with weight is the lifestyle of your social circle.
The biggest correlate with weight is the lifestyle of your social circle. I’m back up to 190. Time to convince my friends to go on diets.
Looks like you brought a spork to a food fight!
Looks like you brought a spork to a food fight!
Good advice: Don’t go to sleep angry.
Good advice: Don’t go to sleep angry. Okay advice: Don’t go to sleep sad. Bad advice: Don’t go to sleep tired.
I’d rather punch a polar bear than finish this paper.
I’d rather punch a polar bear than finish this paper. Not because I hate this paper, but because I really, really like punching polar bears.
Holy crap, this may just be me reading into it and not getting some stupid programming joke, but I think today’s XKCD is about Systematics.
Holy crap, this may just be me reading into it and not getting some stupid programming joke, but I think today’s XKCD is about Systematics.
Pro tip: you get across town quicker by following some service vehicles but not others.
Pro tip: you get across town quicker by following some service vehicles but not others. Fire trucks are good, mail trucks are bad.
You know you have problems when you start referring to orange juice as a “weak screwdriver.
You know you have problems when you start referring to orange juice as a “weak screwdriver.”
I want to see a movie about the Titanic from the iceberg’s point of view.
I want to see a movie about the Titanic from the iceberg’s point of view.
I’m having so much fun with my new prejudice against lefties, I just hope it doesn’t come back to bite me like that time I hated gingers.
I’m having so much fun with my new prejudice against lefties, I just hope it doesn’t come back to bite me like that time I hated gingers.
It’s been proven that lefties are less moral than normal people, but they’re also apparently less intelligent and nice.
It’s been proven that lefties are less moral than normal people, but they’re also apparently less intelligent and nice. #lefthandedracism
I was too cool for school, so they left me out in the cold.
I was too cool for school, so they left me out in the cold. #mixedmetaphors
Lefties? Sinister-Americans? #yeahbutwhatdoicallthem #lefthandedracism
Lefties? Sinister-Americans? #yeahbutwhatdoicallthem #lefthandedracism
Leftoriums are a good start, but I won’t be happy until they have their own supermarkets, coffee shops, and restaurants.
Leftoriums are a good start, but I won’t be happy until they have their own supermarkets, coffee shops, and restaurants. #lefthandedracism
Quick! Someone give me the joke or logical structure of the following: “P is true.
Quick! Someone give me the joke or logical structure of the following: “P is true.” “No it isn’t.” “Okay, so P isn’t true.”