Hey children, remember this? That’s right, it was my response to this man who posted this on my website. That’s an important point. My website. Not his, not anybody else’s. As best as I can remember, I visited his wife’s…
Dear Stoned in San Francisco, Sorry we didn’t take you seriously before. It must be rather unfortunate to go around with such a name. Your comment on how it was relatively impossible to comment on this blog was ignored like…
“Hey you need to come back soon it’s getting really sucky here. There’s no comedy in my life. Everything’s going fine, no adventures, no lies, no philosophical debates, or poking fun of blind people. The other day I pushed a…
After seeing two other guys with long hair and glasses on Wednesday, I have decided to cut off my half-meter long hair. I shall do this at the beginning of November so as to not interfere with my Halloween plans,…
Tao of Gabe Gabe the Emancipated Beaver here with a recently expired poetic license. So any metaphor I use will be as illegal as your hairstyle should be. That was a simile. Don’t worry, I’m okay. Hopefully I’ll manage to…
Seth has asked me numerous times to post about Australia. Apparently, this land holds the same place in his heart that my 6th grade playground holds for me (seriously now: I’m not being facetious. We both realized something in the…
When I was a young lad, I always had a problem with knowing where I stood with regards to my friends. Sometimes they didn’t know I existed (literally), other times they were the ones that were imaginary. I was always…
Pop philosophy: Carpe diem. Pix philosophy: I’m living in the When. I realized something the other day. I’m in friggin’ Australia! I am literally on the other side of the planet. WTF? I’m going to be telling stories about this…
A priest, a rabbi, and a buddhist monk walk into a bar, sit at the end and start having some drinks. Two hours later, they come out with a better understanding of each other and a mutual respect, the beginnings…
Dear Gabe, My brother is an anti-conformist, but such to the point that he aggravates poeople and makes things hard on everyone, especially himself. Can you supply any advice to him on ‘bending like the grass’ vs. ‘falling like the…
I’ve been asking everyone I know who speaks a different language to tell me how to say this. Aren’t you glad I’m representing New Mexico so well?
I’ve decided to stop labeling my friends. The labels were meant to be general guidelines in the first place. They weren’t supposed to be the be-all and end-all of friendship. It shouldn’t have been the case that I try to…
My uncle’s philosophy for raising a child (cleaned up): “Teach them what you know, let them figure out the rest.” The problem comes when people think that they know things that they in fact do not know. I plan on…
Gabe the Didactic Beaver here with a tale of mystery, insight, and intrigue that will randomly switch into a “your collective mother” joke without notice. I’ve been having a problem of identity recently. See, I thought I knew who I…
I have two new games for the children at home to play. I call the first one “Person, Person, Walking Advertisement.” The goal is to find the most people in a row without running into somebody that is wearing clothes…
SPAM. Before you read this, go here and obey her. The only way we can win is if everyone attacks and attacks decisively. My Media Law teacher once remarked on how SPAM is no worse and might even be better…
I studied for a semester in Pennsylvania. Every item I turned in, regardless of how much effort I put into it, received a 100%. The teachers loved me and my classes were easy.I’m studying for a semester in New South…
My favorite argument of all time is three words. I’ll give you an example before I explain what it is and why it works. 1: “evironmentalism is stupid. Look, folks, our capitalistic society will come up with a solution for…