Memo to all Pixel Inc. Associates
Due to continued time shortages and increasingly pessimistic economic projections, Pixel Inc. has decided to lay-off some associates. Therefore, we will be reposting all positions and asking current team members to reapply. We understand that this is a hassle, but hope to give everyone a fair shot to keep their position as Pixel Inc. goes through this very terrible restructuring.
Therefore, if you are an associate looking to return to your position or consider yourself able to advance, we encourage you to submit your resume and cover letter to submissions@pixcapacitor.com. We have openings across the board, including:
- True Friend
- Good Friend
- Buddy
- Friendly Acquaintance
- Byte-sized Acquaintance
Positions open at the time of the restructuring will stay open until they are filled. These positions include
- Girlfriend
- Best friend
- Hacker friend
- Gay friend
- Stoner friend
- (The jock friend position has been eliminated)
So please, if you’re an associate, contact us immediately about your position. If you are looking for work, now may be your time to be considered a member of our wonderful family. In any case, we look forward to hearing from you soon.
Thank you,
Pixel Q. Styx III
I’d like if you created the position of “Random Moof”. Then I would surely apply.