When I run out of hair gel, I just shave my head.
When I run out of hair gel, I just shave my head. It’s the great circle of life.
Video Killed the Radio Star
43. I type in the Dvorak keyboard. I taught myself how a few months ago and haven’t looked back (or down) since. But let’s rewind: Talking killed the grunting star Writing killed the talking star Printing press killed the meticulous…
It’s almost 1 o’clock, why don’t I have pants on yet? This isn’t an episode of Cops!
It’s almost 1 o’clock, why don’t I have pants on yet? This isn’t an episode of Cops!
Drinking makes the world go round.
Drinking makes the world go round… Wait, stop! Why is the world going round??
The other, other closet
42. When I was 14, I began my own “Newsletter.” I did it because blogs didn’t exist yet, I didn’t have an Internet connection, I was underage, and I wanted to make people laugh. So I created a four-page document…
1: would you ever hit a lady with a baby? 2: Of course not, I’d hit her with a brick.
1: would you ever hit a lady with a baby? 2: Of course not, I’d hit her with a brick.
Clearing out frwitters that haven’t updated in over a month.
Clearing out frwitters that haven’t updated in over a month… Is this YOU??
My talents are wasted here
41. I didn’t start listening to music until I was in high school. Before that, I honestly could not have told you the difference between rock and rap, classical and metal. (Name wise, I probably could have identified them with…
The order is bitch to yourself, joke to others.
The order is bitch to yourself, joke to others. I always get the two confused..
An example of political suicide: “Yeah, well maybe Martin Luther King was ASKING to get shot.
An example of political suicide: “Yeah, well maybe Martin Luther King was ASKING to get shot.”
Phrases that could end political careers
40. No matter where I go, I always have to carry something with me, usually in the form of a binder, book, or backpack. When I was a kid, I used to carry two books everywhere: in case i was…
Phenomenology.
Phenomenology. Why does something i care so little about have such a cool name?
Have you ever wanted to thwack a smarmy bastard so hard it made him cry? Yeah, i guess i deserved that.
Have you ever wanted to thwack a smarmy bastard so hard it made him cry? Yeah, i guess i deserved that.
OMG, OMG, @narfna is following me! I’ve gotta get her off my tail! OH NOOES!!
OMG, OMG, @narfna is following me! I’ve gotta get her off my tail! OH NOOES!!
EUREKA!!! I FOUND MY PEN!! http://tinyurl.
EUREKA!!! I FOUND MY PEN!! https://www.wts.hu/upload/index.php?route=product/search&search=patron%20unix … now if only I could order it…
I keep forgetting i can tweet via phone.
I keep forgetting i can post via phone.
I miss irony… do you ever think she’s coming back?
39. I learned to read when I was four because my mom was teaching my brother how to read and I wanted her to pay attention to me. Every time I hear that story, I’m astounded at how little has…
I missed a call from ‘unknown?’ Oh NOES!! I haven’t talked to unknown in ages! I wonder what she’s up to?
I missed a call from ‘unknown?’ Oh NOES!! I haven’t talked to unknown in ages! I wonder what she’s up to?