My mom says I shouldn’t pack the fine China with the bowling balls, I say she’s being too pessimistic

93.  Apparently, when things get serious in an interpersonal/emotional way, I respond by telling jokes.  I’m not emotionally unavailable— honest!— I just think that many times these trains of thought make people sad, so I have to constantly pull over so that the engine doesn’t overheat.  Also, I explain things in metaphor.

OMG!  I’m moving tomorrow and I don’t know what to take with me.  The problem is that I don’t really have much space.  So how do I fit all of the important things in life in just 65 cubic feet?

The strategy I’m going for is to take all unique and potentially necessary items (such as clothes or philosophy books), take a few big, expensive items (such as electronics), and take many small, expensive items (such as bed sheets and covers).

When I arrive, I can buy toothpaste and ramen noodles, for instance, but I can’t easily buy pots and pans.

Here is what I’m taking so far:

  • All the clothes I have that fits and I’d be willing to wear (so, like six outfits)
  • A few dozen books that make me look and feel like a real philosopher (plus, the complete Far Side collection and some Ultimate Spiderman comics)
  • Bed sheets
  • Mickey Mouse covers
  • Sleeping bag
  • Tent
  • One of those Wal-Mart style fold-up chairs
  • Fire staves and poi
  • A flying pig
  • My laptop
  • My external hard drive
  • 48 tamales
  • Five Rubik’s cubes of varying degrees of difficulty
  • Some sentimental stuff like letters and pictures and a novelty-size permanent marker.
  • A 30-inch tall photo album
  • Pictures
  • high school yearbooks
  • (My mom suggests I should also take some pots and pans)

I like living my life so that people think everything I say and do is just setting up a punchline.  Sadly, every item on this list is very real and not made up.

I calculate I have very little space left.  If you were me, what else would you take?


  1. a camera, an ipod (or your choice of mp3 player), a tiny coffee pot (do you drink coffee? i live on it), and a block or two of cork board to stick on your walls and display your photos.

    and a thousand notebooks.

  2. And just where might one find a flying pig? Forget he pots and pans-you can get them at a thrift store for cheap. And also the high school yearbooks, because in a few more years you won’t remember most of the people anyway.

  3. Well, considering I just moved and it was hell because I have way too much stuff, you shouldn’t take any advice from me. With that said, I am extremely jealous of your complete Far Side.

  4. It’s a gift some lesbian friends gave me when I went away for a while. It was also the mascot to the short-lived titular viewspaper.

    You can see a picture here.

  5. a 30-inch tall photo album? Where can I get one of those! I would maybe have loaded them onto a laptop, though. That may be why I only have 2 free gigs on my laptop…

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