Man, I’m 0 for 3 of the Nobel Prizes thus far. There’s only Economics, Literature, and Peace left. Come on Bernanke, Rowling, and Jong-il!

The calendar says “University Holiday,” but I read “Slow buses, shorter library hours, and no burritos.”

No matter how distant your thoughts are, you should never ask if this is as good as it gets while on the toilet.

Life lesson: a bum will ask for change. A junkie will ask for ten dollars.

So I failed (miserably) at 24-hour comic day. Very well. I have a new New Year’s Resolution: to finish a 24-page comic book.

“(mumble, mumble, mumble) …Sorry, just thinking out loud.” “Is that why you’re usually so quiet?”

Just wrote a 24-page comic script. 3k words. Who knew it would take more than a page? I’m not going to get even close to finishing this..

What the hell? I thought 24-hour comic day was October 24th! Not October 3rd! Guess how I’m going to spend the day today? Sad, probably.

Words philosophy has ruined for me: valid, metaphysics, rigid, moral, ethical, possible, necessary, and sexy.

I am thankful for the little things. For instance: I’m glad there’s an outbreak of Swine Flu and not Swine Herpes.

Somebody write this down- I’m hungry, near a food court and I DON’t feel like a burrito… I’m scared.

Why do philosophers who study metaphysics call themselves metaphysicians? Shouldn’t it be metaphycisists? We’re not diagnosing doctors.

I know Batman doesn’t kill, but why can’t he maim or paralyze?

Good adaptive question: why do camels have humps? Bad adaptive question: Why are camels so ugly?

Fun tip: you can boost your citations yourself! “As I said in one of my earlier papers, X.” (then you cite every paper you’ve ever written)

Whoever said “Nobody can love you until you love yourself” was a liar. Also: didn’t have a puppy.

When I saw that a Tsunami near Samoa and “Google Wave” were both trending topics, I thought that Google had finally gone too far: but no.

Hulu says the name of last week’s episode of “House” was “Broken.” Oh, no, I’m amused.