(Crossposted at www.constrainedwriting.com)
“Two words: Breast. Implants.”
–Barney Stinson
- When she wakes up from a coma.
- When one of you moves back to the same place after having been separated by an earlier move.
- When it was your fault and you understand that now.
- For tax fraud/other schemes.
- In order to vanquish a mutual mortal enemy.
- While drunk and lonely (CAVEAT: Only applies if you’re not a suicidal alcoholic)
- Because it would make grandma happy and she’s on her deathbed as a result of something you feel guilty about
- If you’ve both had a sex change and want to try it in a different way.
- If you’ve forgotten her through some sort of amnesia or messed up Sunshine of the Spotless Mind sort of scenario.
- If you discover that the terrible things she did were actually done while being possessed by an evil demon.
- Because— really— you couldn’t have done any better anyway
- Because your horrible treachery will soon be uncovered
- I guess if you’ve both really changed so very much such that the same problems won’t ever come up again. Maybe.
you’re just so many levels of awesome I can’t even count.