Say what you will about terms of endearment, but nobody who has ever called me ‘sweetie’ has ever punched me in the face.

I called the front desk to ask for a wake up call today: “Wake me up at 3 p.
I liked water polo before the Olympics made it all commercial.
When foreign leaders get sick, they come to America for treatment.
I think I spent more time grading their essays than some of these kids spend writing them.

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