I don’t know what I want my last words to be, but I want my last punctuation to be an interrobang.

Pixel
August 30, 2012

I don’t know what I want my last words to be, but I want my last punctuation to be an interrobang… which kinda limits my options.

I just photobombed an ultrasound.
ACTUAL SIGN: “There are no refunds for bad weather, only rain checks will be issued”
I hope when I die they put me in a nice container.
“I wish for one more wish infinite times.

January 13, 2009

"Did you like how I verbed that word?"

November 1, 2010

Yesterday I found out that saying "I'm required by law to tell you I moved into the neighborhood" is not a good cheap Halloween costume.

October 29, 2018

Pro tip: if the GOP asks you to vote, say you’ve already voted via text. As they lose their mind, just keep regurgitating their propaganda incorrectly.

Why don’t more zombies have back pain?

October 18, 2022

I wanna see a putting the team back together montage, but it turns out that everyone but the main character have been hanging out the entire time

September 22, 2022

I’m being held hostage.

August 2, 2022

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Why don’t more zombies have back pain?

I wanna see a putting the team back together montage, but it turns out that everyone but the main character have been hanging out the entire time

I’m being held hostage.