Every time I think of all of the bad choices I’ve made in my life, I’m comforted by the fact that I, at least, didn’t marry Jeyne Westerling

I just looked up ‘smurf’ in the Urban Dictionary and my head smurfsploded.
Today I will work into conversation the phrase “molesting a muppet.
I miss when , , and were among my most commonly used emojis. No
1: I work out every day, why am I still squishy? 2: Have you tried watching your diet? 1: Wow, way to victim blame.

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