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I’m not conventionally attractive, but I still hope conventions will catch up to me.

Canonically, it takes three weeks to get into Rocky or Karate Kid shape. So if anybody want to battle, schedule it within 20 days.

Oppenheimer claimed that, when he witnessed the first atomic weapon, he quoted, “I have become death, destroyer of worlds.” Eyewitness accounts deny this, claiming he instead said, “big bomb go boom.”

The gunfight at the O.K. Corral lasted 30 seconds and killed three people. It wouldn’t make a top ten shooting most months in the U.S.

Antidepressants are a temporary solution to a permanent problem.

There is some confusion as to whether Alexander wept because “there were no more worlds left to conquer” or because “there were infinite worlds to conquer and he had yet to conquer one.” One thing we do know is that…

It turns out there’s a limit to how much Chartreuse can go into a concoction. That limit is zerø.

In the gritty reboot of Captain Planet, the pilot is just him crying for a half hour.

I can’t wait until @linmanuelmybean’s sequel about the second secretary of the treasury, Oliver Wolcott Jr.

If you give the Hamilton musical a long enough standing ovation, they come back and do a zombie Hamilton encore.