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As I’ve finished the first edition of our new carnival (release date: October 31, Australia Time), I figured I’d print my own rejects here. Stay tuned next week for our grand unveiling. Invent a Time Machine and quick! It’s urgent!…

My wonderful roommate (is reading this) has some funny foibles. When you speak to him day to day, he’s ever so nice to you (assuming you’re not me). He won’t fight or anything, though he will point out when you’re…

Hey children, remember this? That’s right, it was my response to this man who posted this on my website. That’s an important point. My website. Not his, not anybody else’s. As best as I can remember, I visited his wife’s…

“Hey you need to come back soon it’s getting really sucky here. There’s no comedy in my life. Everything’s going fine, no adventures, no lies, no philosophical debates, or poking fun of blind people. The other day I pushed a…

After seeing two other guys with long hair and glasses on Wednesday, I have decided to cut off my half-meter long hair. I shall do this at the beginning of November so as to not interfere with my Halloween plans,…

Seth has asked me numerous times to post about Australia. Apparently, this land holds the same place in his heart that my 6th grade playground holds for me (seriously now: I’m not being facetious. We both realized something in the…

When I was a young lad, I always had a problem with knowing where I stood with regards to my friends. Sometimes they didn’t know I existed (literally), other times they were the ones that were imaginary. I was always…

A priest, a rabbi, and a buddhist monk walk into a bar, sit at the end and start having some drinks. Two hours later, they come out with a better understanding of each other and a mutual respect, the beginnings…

Dear Gabe, My brother is an anti-conformist, but such to the point that he aggravates poeople and makes things hard on everyone, especially himself. Can you supply any advice to him on ‘bending like the grass’ vs. ‘falling like the…