Pixel

I suppose we’ll never know who lucky #5000 was. *sigh* On the other hand, I’m a dollar richer.

Hmm… I didn’t believe I was actually going to make it to 5000 views in 17 days, but now it’s a near certainty. I blame it on the six hundred unique page views of one lonely Saturday (Seriously. WTF? I…

How Often Should I Post? Constantly More Often About as Often Less Often Never As often as you feel inclined, who are we to judge? As often as I check your page, no more, no less. Pollhost

It came to me one day in a ravishing illumination yesterday: humans are outside my moral sphere of consideration. Consider this: I believe that pleasure and pain have value in themselves (positive and negative, respectively). I believe that the ethical…

Oh, what the hell? Might as well go for gold. The following is made up on the spot (or as close to the spot as I can get) so as to not lose face to Seth, who threatens to steal…

1: Have you ever seen Total Recall? 2: Yeah, but I can’t remember it. Oh my gosh! I need SPF 40, they have 60 Watt lightbulbs in there! Even a stopped clock is right twice a day, which is two…

Have I ever told you all about my hidden racism towards white people? I mean, I don’t hate all white people, just whitey in general. But I say it like I do. I go around Klansmen and make jokes that…

And now, an argument for why these phrases should be said. “You can trust me.” — Picture the following situation: Anson, Bill, and Count Chocula are fighting vampires that have cornered them into a treehouse from which there is no…

Simp: You’re terrible to study with! Pixel: I know, why do you think I never try it! You can’t leave him alone! You know how he gets when he’s by himself! He just eggs himself on! And now, to go…