Pixel

Hmm… I didn’t believe I was actually going to make it to 5000 views in 17 days, but now it’s a near certainty. I blame it on the six hundred unique page views of one lonely Saturday (Seriously. WTF? I…

How Often Should I Post? Constantly More Often About as Often Less Often Never As often as you feel inclined, who are we to judge? As often as I check your page, no more, no less. Pollhost

It came to me one day in a ravishing illumination yesterday: humans are outside my moral sphere of consideration. Consider this: I believe that pleasure and pain have value in themselves (positive and negative, respectively). I believe that the ethical…

Oh, what the hell? Might as well go for gold. The following is made up on the spot (or as close to the spot as I can get) so as to not lose face to Seth, who threatens to steal…

1: Have you ever seen Total Recall? 2: Yeah, but I can’t remember it. Oh my gosh! I need SPF 40, they have 60 Watt lightbulbs in there! Even a stopped clock is right twice a day, which is two…

Have I ever told you all about my hidden racism towards white people? I mean, I don’t hate all white people, just whitey in general. But I say it like I do. I go around Klansmen and make jokes that…

And now, an argument for why these phrases should be said. “You can trust me.” — Picture the following situation: Anson, Bill, and Count Chocula are fighting vampires that have cornered them into a treehouse from which there is no…

Simp: You’re terrible to study with! Pixel: I know, why do you think I never try it! You can’t leave him alone! You know how he gets when he’s by himself! He just eggs himself on! And now, to go…

Have you ever just wanted to be rude and yell at someone for no reason? I mean, they haven’t done anything to you, but that’s the problem. You want to rattle their cages, but you don’t really want them to…