- I don’t prejudge, I just precorrelate.
- All my friends that have moved to red states have turned Republican. I, on the other hand, moved to North Carolina and now it’s tinting blue.
- So it turns out I don’t have cancer. Oh, well, you can’t win them all.
- Not only can I not spare change, I can’t even spare time to answer this ques–
- I don’t want to know how to live the good life, I want to lead the Great life.
- Just once i want to read ’emphasis removed.’
- I don’t print single-sided because I can’t read that many pages.
- I worry that one day I’ll recline my chair too far, fall, and crack open my head. Then the police report will say: “death by comfort.”
- Have you ever wondered if perhaps This is what it Is to be happy? Perhaps that’s all there is to it? Whenever I think that it makes me sad..
- I’ve chosen all my jokes for next semester: logic, ethics, some bio, some cog sci, and perhaps “responsibility” or “Rousseau.”
- It occurs to me that prisoners just have more dilemmas than the rest of us.
- That’s not a Rorschach, that’s my handwriting!
- My goal in every psychological experiment is to be an outlier.
- I think I’m just going to sit around and wait for social justice.
- I don’t have a bookmark, so I’m just going to have to remember where I was… Chapter 1, Page 1.
- Every one of you is a generalizer.
- I don’t like weddings, I barely like funerals, and I HATE kids’ birthday parties.
- Why is it so easy to click ‘send’ and so hard to click ‘retrieve?’
- I’ve decided I update my status too often. I’m not going to stop doing it, I was just thinking about it and thought you’d like to know.
- I wrote my thesis on the back of a bar napkin. Now if only I could find it…
