Note to self: stop playing basketball with broken bones.
Note to self: stop playing basketball with broken bones.
Note to self: stop working out with broken bones.
Note to self: stop working out with broken bones.
Things I didn’t do before I turned 25
Five years ago I made this list: Have a terrible secret discovered (preferrably not by someone malevolent) None of you know it yet, do you? (Please don’t. It’s ever so terrible.) Be hit on by three girls in one 24…
Some more types of problems
My friend Benjamin Jagear used to always say to me, “Pixel – look at all of the problems in your life and ask yourself: how many of those problems were caused by your enemies and how many can be traced…
Oh, Mother Teresa.
Oh, Mother Teresa… What a cocktease.
Damn it, who made this bra? Master Lock??
Damn it, who made this bra? Master Lock??
My housing in Vienna is near the Red Light district.
My housing in Vienna is near the Red Light district. Score! (No pun intended)
@Mablicia – remember when Jack broke the Bro code by refusing to bail me out of jail because his mom was coming home with groceries?
I remember when Jack broke the Bro code by refusing to bail me out of jail because his mom was coming home with groceries?
I’d streak, but then I’d probably trip over myself.
I’d streak, but then I’d probably trip over myself.
You know what my favorite Nirvana album is?.
You know what my favorite Nirvana album is?….. Nevermind.
This band sounds like a combination of Weezer and suck.
This band sounds like a combination of Weezer and suck.
When it’s this loud, they’re All silent but deadly.
When it’s this loud, they’re All silent but deadly.
I drew a crossword on my back and I was so confident I could do it, I solved it in tattoo.
I drew a crossword on my back and I was so confident I could do it, I solved it in tattoo.
It’s the Last Day of Classes, or LDOC.
It’s the Last Day of Classes, or LDOC. Soon there’ll be a Last Minute of Classes, or LMOC. And a Last Class of Classes.
I’m not getting any work done at home.
I’m not getting any work done at home. Fuck it, I’m going to pack up and go to a bar. Maybe I won’t be distracted THERE. No Internet, see?
I cried at the end of Pay It Forward.
I cried at the end of Pay It Forward. But only because I was chopping onions at the time. And I cut myself. Bad.
I’m horrible at deduction.
I’m horrible at deduction. THEREFORE: I am generous lover.
The last thousand times I’ve used induction, I have failed miserably.
The last thousand times I’ve used induction, I have failed miserably. That means that NEXT time I’m bound to succeed!