I’m significantly worse on the phone than in any other medium.
I’m significantly worse on the phone than in any other medium. That’s why I negotiate all my ransoms via text message.
Pixel
Pixel Q. refuses to talk about himself. If thou wishest, thou may infer from his blog what thou wishest.
Things I wish I could say to people, but can’t (pt. IX of XXVI)
Two today. Eep. I’m sorry about all the problems you’ve been going through recently. Even the predictable ones suck. I wish you the best of luck, though. Seriously. You are a violent person, but you were such a unique part…
“You can’t blame a guy for trying” is a brilliant expression.
“You can’t blame a guy for trying” is a brilliant expression. But oh, so very false.
“People made fun of her because she was poor, which I thought was just in poor taste.
“People made fun of her because she was poor, which I thought was just in poor taste.”
My laptop is overheating because it’s powering an external fan designed to cool overheating laptops.
My laptop is overheating because it’s powering an external fan designed to cool overheating laptops.
When somebody warns you that they have gained significant amounts of weight, I don’t know what the right response is, but “HOW??” isn’t it.
When somebody warns you that they have gained significant amounts of weight, I don’t know what the right response is, but “HOW??” isn’t it.
I’m trying to start a fire, but the wind keeps blowing it out.
I’m trying to start a fire, but the wind keeps blowing it out. Oxygen is bullshit. Does anyone have any phlogiston?
Things for which text messaging is an inappropriate medium
Marriage proposals Imminent plans Government secrets Illegal pornography Unforgivable pornography The ‘Money shot’ Smells Directions Punches Poverty Sextually Transmitted Infections The Sunday New York Times Plasma Ransom negotiations
My friend got mad at me for not eating before I donated blood today.
My friend got mad at me for not eating before I donated blood today. But in my defense, 4 p.m. is really early for breakfast.
Do you think there were calories in that blood I just gave? Like, A Lot? Because I’m planning on binging on burritos and booze tonight.
Do you think there were calories in that blood I just gave? Like, A Lot? Because I’m planning on binging on burritos and booze tonight.