Gabe the Beaver

A total stranger called my column “very funny.” Wow. I haven’t been this flattered since Gadi Schwartz said he wanted to do a piece on the Pix Capacitor (which, of course, I am the key player. I even write most…

Dear Stoned in San Francisco, Sorry we didn’t take you seriously before. It must be rather unfortunate to go around with such a name. Your comment on how it was relatively impossible to comment on this blog was ignored like…

Tao of Gabe Gabe the Emancipated Beaver here with a recently expired poetic license. So any metaphor I use will be as illegal as your hairstyle should be. That was a simile. Don’t worry, I’m okay. Hopefully I’ll manage to…

Gabe the Didactic Beaver here with a tale of mystery, insight, and intrigue that will randomly switch into a “your collective mother” joke without notice. I’ve been having a problem of identity recently. See, I thought I knew who I…

Gabe the Revolutionary Beaver here at the Lachlan Review (or as I call it, the ‘View) with a review of Conception Day 2005. It seems that every year Conception Days and first years get smaller. Though this year, our day…

Gabe the Stupendous Beaver here, to enlighten and snub you. Be glad, I usually save that particular combination for Mother’s Day. The question of the week is: Gabe, if you bash the media so much, why are you printed in…

Gabe the Sacriligious Beaver here with an insightful thought experiment. The question of the week is: Do you remember how I told you that sometimes I repeat stories? This is one of those and it’s not something as light and…

Hey Gabe, Do you want to write a review of Conception Day 2005? Were you there? Circa. 400 words. Can’t promise to publish it – but if you are as good as you say you are – then I prob.…

Gabe the Recursive Beaver here with the question of the week: who would win in a hacky-sack match to the death between Spiderman and Daredevil? Think about that when you’re living your boring, boring life and doing you’re boring, boring…