Author: Gabe the Beaver

Tao of Gabe I’m Gabe the Adorable Beaver and you’re not. My second favorite holiday—after Talk Like a Pirate Day— is upon us again. This Monday, you’ll be too old to go trick or treating, but you get one better: you get to give out candy. I’m Gabe “Rubs Salt in Your Wound” Beaver, here…

Tao of Gabe Gabe the Didactic Beaver here, your eyewitness to the recent SAM and MUSC elections 2005. To recap: last year there were no elections, this year there were. Like all issues, however, this has multiple sides. On the one hand, students were denied their civil liberties and the money they thought was going…

A total stranger called my column “very funny.” Wow. I haven’t been this flattered since Gadi Schwartz said he wanted to do a piece on the Pix Capacitor (which, of course, I am the key player. I even write most of the stuff, I just let Pixel Q. Styx put his name on it because…

Dear Stoned in San Francisco, Sorry we didn’t take you seriously before. It must be rather unfortunate to go around with such a name. Your comment on how it was relatively impossible to comment on this blog was ignored like we do to everyone who’s name doesn’t start with Gabe and end with Beaver. Luckily,…

Tao of Gabe Gabe the Emancipated Beaver here with a recently expired poetic license. So any metaphor I use will be as illegal as your hairstyle should be. That was a simile. Don’t worry, I’m okay. Hopefully I’ll manage to renew my license before somebody turns me in to the Grammar Police. There’s nothing more…

Gabe the Didactic Beaver here with a tale of mystery, insight, and intrigue that will randomly switch into a “your collective mother” joke without notice. I’ve been having a problem of identity recently. See, I thought I knew who I was, but it turns out I don’t. I feel like a bad Geena Davis movie…