Gabe is a bold-ass bogey
Dear Readers, I’m still reading the encyclopedia and for the first time in a long time, I feel like an educated beaver. I was always in the bottom third of my graduating class. In fact, PhD’s from my graduation…
Gabe the Beaver
Gabe, the Know-It-All
Dear Readers, Boy is life ever difficult for your learned best beaver friend Gabie. I’ve been reading the encyclopedia for about a month now and boy, are humans ever dull! Nothing but sex, violence, and immorality. I feel like I’m…
Anonymous in London
Dear Gabe: I have this friend who has this advice blog, you see, but he doesn’t allow anonymous comments on it, so the many people wanting advice, but don’t want their ideas known end up going to some other blog.…
Cross-Posted
Dear Gabe, My cousin has a nose picking disorder, and recently it has become chronic. He told me that he had a mission to find his brain. I’m concerned for his disorder, and was wondering what could aide my cousin…
Ind e-Pen XI
The Ind e-Pen +++vol+1++BT+11+++ Introduction: =============== This is Gabe the Beaver filling in for whoever sends these silly e-mails out regularly. I wish I could tell you, seeing as he IS my direct boss, but quite frankly, I never cared…
Gov. Gabe v. Pauper Prudy
Dear Gabe, Why don’t you run for Governor? You can’t possibly mess up the position anymore, and lord knows you can’t [expletive deleted] fuck New Mexico over any worse than it already is. —Joe Voter Dear Joe, Well the truth…
Gabe the Test-Taking Techie
Dear Gabe, How do you deal with Midterms? I know when it comes to the bottom line, I usually choke. —Joe Frosch Dear Joe, It’s no secret that midterms are tough. It’s extremely hard to sink your teeth into them.…
Gabe the High-Brow Beaver
Dear Gabe, Why do people shave their eyebrows? -Seattle-based Service Administrator. Dear Ass-backwards, You are probably saying this in remarks to what a local editor of a local paper did to his local face. Well, the most simple response to…
Gabe v. Joseph Lovato
Dear Gabe, I have a friend that’s having some problems with his mates. See, this friend, let’s call him Fishypoo, is living with this guy, let’s call him donkeybuttbrain, who is not your typical roommate. Assuming your typical roommate doesn’t…
Gabe, the Internet Guru
Dear Gabe, I’ve taken a liking to boy bands. Is that bad? –Joe Pop Dear Joe, There’s absolutely nothing wrong with boy bands. In fact, they are some of that most talended musicians out there in the music biz today.…