Gabe the Beaver

Tao of Gabe I’m Gabe the Fantastic Beaver and I’m in love. If you have never been in love, it is a strange feeling that I can’t really describe to you but with a series of increasingly terrible metaphors, similes,…

Gabe the Enlightened Beaver here to boost your low, low self-esteem. It has come to my attention that many uglier, dumber, and smellier humans have a low opinion of themselves. We all have moments in which we feel worthless, though…

Tao of Gabe Gabe the Delightful Beaver here with a preposterous claim: Cookie Monster never eats cookies!! Check it out the next time you see him. He always yells and moves his hands in a purposeful manner, but every single…

Tao of Gabe Gabe the Conscientious Beaver here to propose a weeklong curriculum in which Intelligent Design would be taught as a critique to evolution. Here we go: In the beginning, Gabe taught the class. And Gabe said, ‘let yous…

someone once asked me for advice on the best way to take care of a paper cut. you know what i said? amputation.

Tao of Gabe Gabe the Benevolent Beaver here worried about his place in the history books. I worry about what is going to survive me when I can no longer the job myself. More than anything, I’d hate to be…

My base of operations is now Wisconsin, in case anybody’s wondering how I could be in four places at once, it’s easy: time zones. When I zone out, I do it through a time zone. when i drink, i travel…

It’s time I admitted it, I’ve been having Writer’s Block for the past few weeks. So now I ask you to provide me with ideas. If you can think of something that needs making fun of, comment here. I’ll also…

Tao of Gabe I’m Gabe the Adorable Beaver and you’re not. My second favorite holiday—after Talk Like a Pirate Day— is upon us again. This Monday, you’ll be too old to go trick or treating, but you get one better:…

Tao of Gabe Gabe the Didactic Beaver here, your eyewitness to the recent SAM and MUSC elections 2005. To recap: last year there were no elections, this year there were. Like all issues, however, this has multiple sides. On the…