I’m writing a novel! Let me know if you wanna be in it. Though everyone who lives is taken… and so are most of the non-embarrassing deaths

Why is @Pixelation talking about himself in the third person?

Man, you had to call during the ONE hour a day I get to spend on the toilet!

“It’s bad luck to be superstitious.” – Kevin Wilson

My blog is still there! It’s still there! I messed with the database and my blog is still there! I could write a something-spangled banner!… wait… Remember that thing I said about my blog still being there after messing with…

I exchanged all of my indie cred for an air guitar.

I don’t like my name in English. It sounds like a pirate “arr…” at least in Spanish it’s “ARR!” … which sounds like a sexy pirate.

Man, I wish I’d known students could download academic journal articles for free. I could have LOADS of bathroom reading material by now!

1: Let’s go shoot something. We could shoot a rabbit! And eat it!! 2: I don’t eat meat. 1: … We could shoot a plant, too!

Guess what the mailman brought me today: A Pocket Watch!! Which means that I can now tell the time… FROM MY POCKET!!!

You know, celebrating Ramadan is a lot easier when you don’t believe in Allah. All that praying and forgiveness would be quite annoying

I refuse to admit RaJ was right about cross-posting tweets. I’ll figure out how to turn off the silly ‘new blog’ notification soon.

I hope I’m not the only person that gets happier when he figures out how to post asides than when a cute girl smiles at him..

I’m going to post an update of what I’m doing… coincidentally, what I’m doing is posting.

So wait, what’s the appropriate number of updates one can do per day? Is infinity too many? Is negative infinity too few? I’m so confused

Is all a-twitter. I think it’s drugs.

Blinking through sleep