Hobbes was Right!
Why education makes jokes funnier Today I am thankful life isn’t… Calvinball! My friend Frank just proved1 that Calvinball is not a sport. See, a sport is an event where two or more people interact in order to secure a…
I am thankful for reality
I’m at the Student Union, checking my e-mail. I have a message from a professor I really respect! I open the letter. My writing sample is attached, but it’s unmarked and barely read. The message is: “WTF?? We told you…
Killing kittens by the truckload
What if this was referring to this? Because the good reverend has proven it doesn’t refer to any real kittens in the world and we all know old adages are always true. Thus, logically: All kittens are either real or…
Some things that are coincidences and some that are not
Coincidence: One commercial on two channels at the same time Looking like a stranger Having the same birthday as your best friend Wearing the same clothes as someone Running into your ex-girlfriend the day after you randomly think about her…
Guide to the extended family
The Grandfather This is an older gentleman. He may try too hard to get you to like him or not try at all, you parents might regard him with dread or annoyance, but everyone agrees he’s an important figure for…
I <3 Hugs
“Show me who you’ve hugged in the past year and in what order and frequency and I’ll tell you what your priorities are.” — Ancient Navajo saying Back in January, I posted my New Year’s Resolutions. I later gave an…
i am thankful for all nighters
no im not, this is just a placeholder until i can write more posts in the wee hours of the a.m. umm… so how is life?
I </3 Memes
I’m going to make a meme, because I like asking questions more than I like answering them (see: What’s a little Questioning Among Friends?). This meme is in the form of Jeopardy. Ready? Go! Life Love Things that are Interesting…
All filler, no killer
I think my next check refills will be giant, novelty checks. Is it just me or has NaBloPoMo made blogging less fun? Today I am thankful for… black bean burgers. p.s. Why isn’t there an Anderson Cooper 360° podcast on…
Ode to the Lappy
I’ve had a swarm of e-mail, phone calls and sympathy packages over my poor lappy since I first reported its demise at the beginning of this month. The hours and days and weeks have been hard for everyone involved, so…
Things you only miss when they’re gone
Youth Hair Your children Your parents Sex Zombies Glasses Hot water Water in general Heat in general Freedom Slaves… I mean maids The respect of your coworkers Health Anderson Cooper 360•1 Peace in the Middle East Your wife/husband2 Food Living…
really wearing a poncho and boxers.
really wearing a poncho and boxers. I didn’t think I actually did that! Is this art imitating life, or life imitating art?
Things I do that Jack Bauer doesn’t
Ask permission… nicely Dance Have a satisfying poop Not kill people for days at a time Keep my promises, even when it’s inconvenient1 Be giddy Play Halo with my friends Lose… at anything at all Share one of my Twix…
Zoom zoom whir whir
Have you ever seen Heroes? No, check these out. What about Afterworld? No? Ha ha, lookie what I’ve found. House? Ha ha, you get the gist.. I’ve had access to high-speed Internet before. 1 But now that I have it…
Why I love my friends
Early in 2006, Moofruot sent me her sock as per a prior agreement. I’ve mentioned that before. My friends think it’s odd that I carry the sock around in my backpack, but it makes perfect sense to me. I…
Hot, like a bell pepper
“Doctor Doctor Master Albright, my name is—” “Please, please, my friends call me Doctor Master Albright.” Albright interrupted. “Doctor Master—” “It’s actually Doctor Doctor Master.” “But you just said—” “I was making conversation. I was trying to be friendly, but,…
The game’s on you!
It makes me sad that the Daily Show and the Colbert Report are on hiatus until the end of the writer’s strike. I mean, I like writers and I understand their anger against the studios, but damn… why punish Pixel?…
We have ice cream? That’s odd.
We have ice cream? That’s odd… better thaw it out and have some before it realizes we’ve neglected it for months …. oohhhh…. my tummy hurts. Ice cream=bad