Literally. This Straight Edge stuff is hard. But that’s me: Socially Promiscuous, Fiscally Conservative, but a Personal Prude. Not only do I not drink, smoke, or do drugs, but I avoid meat, products that were tested on animals or created…
I bought my own birthday cake, I watched a 1960s movie with my mom, and I broke into my friend’s house to use his X-Box and play Halo 2… Alone. Materialistically, I also got a lot of good stuff (notably…
Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday dear Pixel, Happy Birthday to me! I’m twenty, bitches.
My life as a teenager: 84.5 viewspapers 56 e-viewspapers a full-length play a one-act play a semi-started sitcom, book, and screenplay dozens of short stories a nice collection of quotes and witticisms a trinity of crazy-ass ex-girlfriends over a hundred…
AOL and the Discovery Channel have compiled a list of the 100 Greatest Americans (presumably ever), as have I. The following names should not be on the list for various reasons: Barbara Bush George H. W. Bush George W. Bush…
Curse words are interesting. People that overuse them reveal their ignorance, people that don’t use them reveal their prudishness. I think they’re interesting. I don’t think they’re special or rude in any particular way (they’re sounds. Rude is the intention…
“There is nothing wrong with your television set. Do not attempt to adjust the picture. We are controlling transmission. If we wish to make it louder, we will bring up the volume. If we wish to make it softer, we…
The temperature is approximately 70 degrees right now (Fahrenheit. Approximately 21.1 degrees Celsius). Nice, ain’t it? Never mind that it’s technically the low for today. The high was 104 (40 degrees Celsius). Apparently, this will continue for another week. Luckily,…
*sigh* No more Bible talk. I usually don’t shy away from confrontations, but my heart’s just not in this, and I know it’ll be a pretty terrible battle soon. In fact, no more witty observations about day-to-day life. I find…
Apparently, someone has a problem with one of my positions. Now, while I fully believe that I am correct, I accept that I was just picking a fight to see who’d comment.It’s a terrible method of seeing if I’m being…
I need new categories. I feel like I’m using snarkage too much and I can’t even categorize some of my posts. Any help? The current categories are: snarkage crazy-ass anecdote administrative business advocacy thought experiment I’m thinking of adding categories…
I take back all of my railing against Star Wars. Any movie that makes a political statement against the Prez is alright with me.. Except for that damned Fahrenheit 9 What was with that? Seriously…
While cruising today, I noticed that of the dozen or so stations on the radio, a full four of them were Christian. This man on one station was complaining about people who comment on the bible. “Why listen to them…
When I first bought my car, I thought, “ooh, a hybrid! All my car woes will cease from this day forth.” Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha…
I have a friend who had been in a committed relationship for about a million years. Some time ago, they broke up because my friend cheated–multiple times– with a person five years older who was also in a blasted relationship.…
After several years of publicly denouncing ‘yo momma’ jokes and insults, I finally began spewing them like no orifice was enough. I didn’t want to, but I couldn’t stop. Finally, just as my friends started partaking in the festivities, I…
Turns out I didn’t get up at 10:20. I wanted to, but I didn’t. I suspect it’s Lou Gehrig’s Disease, I should call my old, favorite student, comission he write a book of me, so then some guy eight years…
I love blogger. These tutorials can even let me look like a savvy techno-guy. And now… sleep. In case you didn’t read the newly positioned permalink (top right), it’s 5:02 right now… and I have to get up at 10:20.