Author: Gabe the Beaver

Tao of Gabe Gabe the Delightful Beaver here with a preposterous claim: Cookie Monster never eats cookies!! Check it out the next time you see him. He always yells and moves his hands in a purposeful manner, but every single cookie crumb bounces out of his mouth as if it hit a mysterious, black wall.…

Tao of Gabe Gabe the Conscientious Beaver here to propose a weeklong curriculum in which Intelligent Design would be taught as a critique to evolution. Here we go: In the beginning, Gabe taught the class. And Gabe said, ‘let yous guys learn that evolution is just a theory– a scientifically derived, testable theory that has…

someone once asked me for advice on the best way to take care of a paper cut. you know what i said? amputation. Related posts: I suppose I’ll be wise for a year longer… I went to the dentist today. Twenty minutes of consultation (which included a seven minute video) and I had to pay…

Tao of Gabe Gabe the Benevolent Beaver here worried about his place in the history books. I worry about what is going to survive me when I can no longer the job myself. More than anything, I’d hate to be lost to anonymity like the third James Bond or the first George Bush. There are…

My base of operations is now Wisconsin, in case anybody’s wondering how I could be in four places at once, it’s easy: time zones. When I zone out, I do it through a time zone. when i drink, i travel into the future (mostly the next morning) and teleport (hopefully my bed, but sometimes the…

It’s time I admitted it, I’ve been having Writer’s Block for the past few weeks. So now I ask you to provide me with ideas. If you can think of something that needs making fun of, comment here. I’ll also accept funny news articles or serious topics that most humour columnists wouldn’t touch with a…