This is the story…

Well, I managed to alienate my flatmates in one day. A new record.If you’d like pictures of what I’m living in, peruse my roommate’s site or just go here. Speaking of which, allow me to give you a quick rundown…

Goodie Grab Bag II

(Humor knows only the bounds of this little black book) 1: I’ve seen an opera. 2: Did you like it? 1: Sort of. I kept expecting a fat lady, though. 2: There was no fat lady? 1: No, all of…

Cover Letter for a Non-Paying Job

To Whom it May Concern, I received my Ph.D. in Phrenological Psychology from Amsterdam University in 1993. After that, I opened an independent practice where I promptly drew criticisms for my support of eugenics in primates (Eugenic Nullification, I called…

B’Day, Mate…

So how ’bout I’m in Sydney, Australia eating “Potato Gems.” In case you’ve never been particularly fond of potato products, these are just poorly made tator tots. Yeah, life’s interesting. Allow me to give you a point by point (using…

Oh, babe, I hate to go

All my bags are packed, I’m ready to go, I‘m standing here outside your door, I hate to wake you up to say good-bye. But the dawn is breaking, it’s early morn, the taxi’s waiting He’s blowing his horn. Already…

Something Positive

And yet another webcomic is finished. I don’t mean that it’s over, I mean that I’ve finally gone through all the archives from the first comic until this one and have a firm grasp of what the comic is supposed…

*whistle* *whistle* *whistle*

Have I ever told you all how I’m an expert clapper? I started training myself to clap during my first year of college (the reason being because pigeons bobbing their heads would really annoy me). About two years later I…

Heidi-Ho Neighborino

A new interest of mine: Neighbors. Consider Wilson Wilson Jr. from Home Improvement, Ned Flanders from the Simpsons, Steve Urkel from Family Matters, Kimmy Gibbler from Full House, Six from Blossom, and Mary Jane Watson from Spiderman (don’t ask me…

On Seeking Non-Paying Work

Dear Editor,As a reclusive beaver with an only marginal grasp on reality and and even more marginal grasp on the concept of humans, I’ve realized that I’m the perfect person to give advice to the growing New Mexico State University…

The Packmouse

Go here. And, keeping in mind that I’m only going to be able to take 25 lbs. and about 40 liters worth of bulk, tell me what to pack. So far, I’m taking CDs, DVDs, a bunch of rolled up…

Yahoo Transcripts I

Eggo: pix Pixel: Drew Pixel: what’s up? Eggo: pppipPPhhelloiIiPi my computer is broken i can’t see anything you say or anything I say for that matter Pixel: Eggo: i’ll get back to you as soon as I can Pixel:Ha ha…

Prose is overrated

Friday: Superfun baseball game complete with aftershow fireworks. My friend rented a skybox and we all piled in and had the most awesome time ever. Final Score: Who cares? Saturday, 0:00: Harry Potter Party at Barnes and Noble. Spent most…

Goodie Grab Bag I

I am now a god at the Rubik’s Cube. It means nothing to those of you who don’t twist, but I figured out the last bit I needed to solve it each and every time. I think I may have…

Stupid is as Stupid Scars

… Carlos do you remember a few years ago when you were really really lonely and liz came to me asking if my friend carlos ‘liked her’ and I told her no, hehee that was funny and then do you…

“New” is so Old

Okay, I suck. I’ve been trying to write some horoscopes for the past month, but I’ve had the worst sort of writer’s block: where I just don’t want to anymore.So here’s your chance to do some good works for your…