I was a hipster before it was popular.
I was a hipster before it was popular. I’m only still a hipster now to be ironic.
I was a hipster before it was popular. I’m only still a hipster now to be ironic.
Me:I should gain weight. Her: No Me: I should lose weight? Her: You’re perfect the way you are Me: Should I rapidly gain weight then lose it?
Just saw “Hangover 2.” Or- as it should be called- “Hangover… Again.”
A sudden surge of creativity is the canary in the coal mine of my mind.
#repressedmemories – That time the girl I barely knew showed up to my birthday party with all my best friends… then left after ten minutes
Missouri loves company… or industry.. or residency. Really, they’d love just about anything right about now. But it’s an unrequited love.
Remind me to never again take 5 hour energy after breakfast.
How come the stupid Microsoft Office paperclip never asked if you wanted help turning it off?
I should stop having Irish coffees in the daytime. Have you ever tried to get a woman to go home and siesta with you? (Inspired by @cathyby)
What the hell is the point of decaf espresso? That’s like paying good money for placebo aspirin, non-alcoholic beer, or porous condoms.1 META POST: This post was an experiment. My hypothesis is that the path to lots of stars on…