Pixel

I’m the kind of guy that brings a pillow to a knife fight.

The democrats have become more like the republicans. The republicans have become more like a caricature of themselves.

I don’t know what I want my last words to be, but I want my last punctuation to be an interrobang… which kinda limits my options.

When foreign leaders get sick, they come to America for treatment. Because-you know- they can afford it.

“That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.” -A. Whitney Brown

I know I SHOULDN’T derive an ought from an is, but I still do.

I think I want to Kickstart a Ponzi scheme.

They call these black plums, but they aren’t quite black. They’re not quite purple, either. They’re more plum colored than anything.

Cashier: “Can I get a name for your order?” Me: “Sure. Let’s call it Jimmy the Order.”

The Dream theory doesn’t fully explain Mulholland Drive. The Bad Movie theory, however, does.