This… this one took a while. Your life makes me sad that people have to live through mistakes before they develop good judgment. It bothers me what became of you. I loved you like a brother and now… now I…
Profile 1: A person with a failed marriage, an unwanted child, and many regrets of time wasted and relationships lost. Profile 2: A person in a successful relationship, in a career that gives them time and challenges, facing future obstacles,…
Damn. Pleased to meet you. (I can’t say this because I don’t know you and haven’t met nor heard of you.) Navigation: pt. i, pt. ii, pt. iii, pt. iv, pt. v, pt. vi, pt. vii, pt. viii, pt. ix,…
It all started with something my propaganda professor Frank Thayer said a long time ago: Life doesn’t turn out the best-possible way you could imagine. It also doesn’t turn out the worst way. It’s usually something in between. That scared…
Damn. I’m preparing for the storm. The next one will be light, but the one after that will be the biggest yet. *sigh* You’re more down to earth than your partner, and I might like you a bit more if…
From a longitudinal study of happiness: At the bottom of the pile are the unhealthiest, or “psychotic,” adaptations—like paranoia, hallucination, or megalomania—which, while they can serve to make reality tolerable for the person employing them, seem crazy to anyone else.…
Man. There are some beautiful people on this list. There’s also a public service. Hm… Not enough hints? Okay: pretty much everyone I still talk to will know someone on this list. Please don’t have a crush on me. I…
Have you ever met one of those people that you just can’t get enough of? They may not be the funniest or the smartest or the most charming, but you’re always excited when you see them and always enjoy talking…
Hm. I’m starting to think I should delete a lot of these people’s numbers if I have such low opinions of them. Actually. This series is pretty much depressing me. You’re quirky and cool, but not as much as you…
The SPAM-bots are out en masse. I’m seriously considering turning off comments. I hate it when other places do that, but…. I seriously have to delete comments every day. So… what do you think?
Nobody will get this unless you happen to know a little too much about this particular person. I love everything about you. I liked you better when you were younger, but I equally enjoy your prank-playing future self. I guess…
Two today. Eep. I’m sorry about all the problems you’ve been going through recently. Even the predictable ones suck. I wish you the best of luck, though. Seriously. You are a violent person, but you were such a unique part…
Marriage proposals Imminent plans Government secrets Illegal pornography Unforgivable pornography The ‘Money shot’ Smells Directions Punches Poverty Sextually Transmitted Infections The Sunday New York Times Plasma Ransom negotiations
This will offer no clues to anyone looking to guess what letter I’m on. You might think it will, and it might if you already had a good guess. But trust me: this post will be more misdirection than regular…
Only one today. Hopefully this doesn’t help anyone figure out the pattern. You’re cute, interesting, and fun. I’d say we should hang out more, but that’s probably not true. This series: pt. i, pt. ii, pt. iii, pt. iv, pt.…
Even more! I’m so damn sorry. I wish I had known myself better so that this wouldn’t have happened. The drugs really did a number on you, didn’t they? I’m so very sorry I missed your wedding. You got me…
So I set my face on fire today. Then Homer Simpson taught me a valuable lesson. Let me back up. It was my shave day and I had to go meet some friends at a local burrito establishment. Naturally, I…
It turns out I have to make friends whose names start with the following letters: Q, U, O, X. If you know a quirky Quentin, an unassuming Ursula, an original Omar, or a xenophobic Xavier, please: send them my way.…