The Ind e-Pen +++vol+1++BT+11+++ Introduction: =============== This is Gabe the Beaver filling in for whoever sends these silly e-mails out regularly. I wish I could tell you, seeing as he IS my direct boss, but quite frankly, I never cared…
The Ind e-Pen +++vol+1++BT+10+++Introduction: =============== I have an excellent explanation for the lateness of this e- Mail. It’s a great explanation. Not like last week when I Had nothing better to say than, “my prostate just exploded.” Okay, so that…
The Ind e-Pen +++vol+1++BT+9+++ Introduction: =============== Everyone has had to deal with “crunch-time” at some point in their lives. Yes, even Shaquile O’Neil. Well, this last week I thought I had it bad. One test, One midterm portfolio, and one…
The Ind e-Pen +++vol+1++BT+8+++ Introduction: =============== So my teacher wants me to submit some writing to this annual magazine. Something about a New Growth Arts Review. I ignored it, as always. I’m not good at writing fiction, or poetry, or…
The Ind e-Pen +++vol+1++BT+7+++ Introduction: =============== You know why I love VD? Because of the way it makes people act. It makes them so happy… except for the ones that just get bitter. But VD is upon us. That’s right,…
The Ind e-Pen +++vol+1++BT+6+++ Introduction: =============== I don’t very often feel like writing real viewsletters, do I? There’s a reason for this. See, on Friday the Thirteenth, this little paper called the Pix Capacitor needs to be finished. Thus, if…
The Ind e-Pen +++vol+1++BT+5+++ Introduction: =============== Snood. Snood. Snood. I’m not going to tell you about snood. Snood is bad. Snood is the reason I almost didn’t write this issue. It’s more addictive than nicotine, cocaine, alcohol, and porn put…
The Ind e-Pen +++vol+1++BT+4+++ Introduction: =============== Okay, because I didn’t feel like writing a real viewsletter this issue, I decided to just write a little bit of dialogue. Here you go. Hopefully the time I saved in writing this will…
The Ind e-Pen +++vol+1++BT+3+++ Introduction: =============== I just got back from a trip here in Indiana, PA. Basically, we went to the mall, the hospital, then out to eat. You know, the classical college pastime. Eating, I mean. But there…
The Ind e-Pen +++vol+1++BT+2+++ Introduction: =============== As an introduction to this, the second edition of future history (or past prophesy, whatever), I’ve decided to treat you to a magic trick: I say a number and you say the number that’s…
Introduction: =============== Welcome to the first edition of the Ind. e-Pen (punny, yeah, I know). If you’re wondering just what the Ind. e-Pen is, let me explain: it’s some sort of thing. Really. I mean, probably. [1] Basically, it’s a…
Dear Gabe, Why don’t you run for Governor? You can’t possibly mess up the position anymore, and lord knows you can’t [expletive deleted] fuck New Mexico over any worse than it already is. —Joe Voter Dear Joe, Well the truth…
Dear Gabe, How do you deal with Midterms? I know when it comes to the bottom line, I usually choke. —Joe Frosch Dear Joe, It’s no secret that midterms are tough. It’s extremely hard to sink your teeth into them.…
Dear Gabe, Why do people shave their eyebrows? -Seattle-based Service Administrator. Dear Ass-backwards, You are probably saying this in remarks to what a local editor of a local paper did to his local face. Well, the most simple response to…
Dear Gabe, I have a friend that’s having some problems with his mates. See, this friend, let’s call him Fishypoo, is living with this guy, let’s call him donkeybuttbrain, who is not your typical roommate. Assuming your typical roommate doesn’t…
Dear Gabe, I’ve taken a liking to boy bands. Is that bad? –Joe Pop Dear Joe, There’s absolutely nothing wrong with boy bands. In fact, they are some of that most talended musicians out there in the music biz today.…
Whoo! Life. I’ve been waiting for this for months! Life rules! Nothing bad could possibly happen now, I mean: I’m alive, right? No more womb for me (probably)! And I bet I grow up to be handsome and intelligent and…