“Suddenly, after seeing that movie, rape doesn’t sound funny anymore.” – Pixel’s friend Frank Jagear after watching Mystic River Pulitzer prize-winning columnist Connie Schultz has just released a new memoir: “… and his Lovely Wife: A Memoir from the Woman…
So wait, what’s the appropriate number of updates one can do per day? Is infinity too many? Is negative infinity too few? I’m so confused
“Originally, when I saw all of the horrible things that the Nazis did to other humans without even thinking twice about it, I thought: how could I get this sort of power?” — Pixel’s friend Frank Jagear on the Milgram…
Is all a-twitter. I think it’s drugs.
“Don’t tell me you’re actually going to listen to my advice. I give bad advice on purpose! Listening to my advice is a very bad idea. I’d advise you against that.” – Pixel to friend Moira on advice he’d just…
Blinking through sleep
As some research for a response to a voluntary poll at Radioactive Jam’s site, I inexplicably joined ‘Twitter.’ It’s the 20-minute dating response to Myspace. Or perhaps a better simile would be that it’s like Myspace with ADHD… In any…
So there I was, complaining about people who keep telling bad jokes or anecdotes then laughing at them. I said that nobody else finds them slightly amusing and that those people should realize how assenine they are when the person…
I’ve been looking through my archives lately (not really, that would require research and I am a lazy, lazy man. So, really, I’ve been imagining what my archives are like lately). It occurred to me that there’s really no rhyme,…
I’m going to participate in Ramadan this year and I can’t tell you why. It’s not because my reason is some secret, it’s because I couldn’t explain it to you if I tried. I’m not muslim, nor do I know…
Hello. It’s me. Now you say it. I have some wisdom to impart unto you and I hope you are less like me than I was when I was you. I hope you decide to listen to me because it’s…
We brought you to this bar to have an intervention. Man, I’m so rich, I use $100 bills for toilet paper. And I use toilet paper for something equally frivolous: like currency. Sorry, I have to go. My pedicurist is…
Richard Dawkins refuses to debate Creationists. He says that the reason for this is advice from Stephen Jay Gould (himself famous for the “Darwin Wars” debates). Gould said that, whatever the outcome, Creationists would win, because the very fact that…
Never do a favor for your friends that requires you to sign anything or use a credit card. In fact, never expose yourself monetarily for anybody if you can help it. (Warning: I just gave you the moral of the…
As you might or might not know, I (the real me, not the me that I make up to seem cool) am applying to graduate school this year. I’m hoping to be Dr. Pixelation Qyw Styx III within five years……
Tek “Danger” McRiggs is a photographer of beautiful women by day, a football legend by midafternoon, a superhero by dusk, a spy-detective-cop by night and a porn star by morning. One day, a team of government-trained ninja pirates shows up…
I like to see people happy. I also like saving money. I don’t readily donate to charity because I’m poor, but every once in a while I like doing something nice for people that could use the money. I usually…
Have you noticed I lost weight? Incorrect answer: No, you still bent the light around you. If you have lost weight (and the gravity hasn’t lessened), then obviously you haven’t lost enough. Correct answer: I noticed you looked slightly more…