June 27, 2007
I need to rethink my naming of these daily posts. Frankly, I’m not seriously discussing June, the 27th OR 2007. But can you imagine if I did? Wouldn’t it be awesome? *scene: the Internet, you are reading another well-crafted blog…
June 26, 2007
Do you think Judas got ripped off when he sold Jesus out for 30 pieces of silver? How much would you have asked for? Would you have done it? Would you have kissed Jesus? On the lips? With tongue? I…
June 25, 2007
My 13-year-old cousin is on Myspace. Not My Space in particular, but the Web site Myspace. Obviously her profile is terrible. I mean, she’s 13! I didn’t know any CSS when I was 13. I barely know any now. However,…
How to deal with wrong number text messages
Them: From: +19152222904 To: Me 06/24/07 13:37 How was the party yesterday? Me: From: +19158678669 To: +19152222904 06/24/07 13:40 TERRIBLE!! two guys raped and beat me… i think i’m going to kill myself 🙁 can you come over? …
The 10 Ways to Leave the Blogosphere
There are several tried and true strategies. I shall list them in order of lamest to most awesometacular. Final post apologizing for the suckiness of your blog. *sigh* I cannot understand why you would attach your name to something you…
When I wake up in the mornin’ and the ‘larm gives off a warnin’…
I did this today for a non-profit organization, but since I’ve not been in a school system that had one of those old-timey bells (ever), I don’t actually know what it’s supposed to look like. This is as close as…
Pixel and the Curse of the Perfect Memory
Damn it, the bastards at keithandthegirl.com (no hyperlink to you, jerks), ruined the last Harry Potter book for me. They said who dies and who kills who. Now I’m trying to unlearn the information with as much disinformation as I…
Deep, like a fish
I’ve always wanted to write something that seemed deep, but was confusing.* perhaps improper punctuation–$! i’d be a good beat… nik?? but then the jailer would not let me i felt more sorry for him than me. after all, i…
The Gay Ray
I have an idea. It’s a way to control the population, further intelligent reproduction and provide some quality entertainment. I call it the “Gay Ray.” The Gay Ray is a hand-held ray that has the power to change the sexuality…
Claque
Earlier this week, I was making a list of my talents, training and abilities when I realized that I was the world’s best clapper. That reminded me of the 19th century claques in France. From 150 to 170 years ago,…
Pwning random ladies
Lady 1: My husband knows I really like jewelry, so he bought me a diamond ring for our anniversary, it’s certified. Lady 2: I’m not into jewelry, but we really like new cars, so we get one every year. Pixel:…
Golden Corral snubbery
“I go to all-you can eat buffets for the expressed purpose of having nobody judge my ridiculous food combinations. If I want to mix mashed potatoes and apple sauce, it’s my God-given right, God damn it!” — Pixel, upon his…
I hate you because I care
Some time ago I wrote about how I thought that a logical consequence of understanding of evolution and the principle of equality was to murder everything that you could possibly murder. I was being facetious, but it made running over…
I want some GRold
Steve at Go Grue! has a wonderful reimagining of Newcomb’s paradox as a betting game. Steve is arguing my position fairly well, so I won’t comment, but I’m starting to think the error is in what a rational expectation is…
Schadenfreude is the greatest word in the English language
I used to hate Paris Hilton because I felt she was the embodiment of fame for fame’s sake. I never bothered seeing The Simple Life because it was advertised as championing the cause of the stupid blonde who was too…
Seventh Generation Insustainability
“Does the word ‘selection’ in Natural Selection imply a conscious agent?” Don’t be silly. Natural Selection is named that to contrast with Artificial Selection, which has gone on since agriculture developed or since the first tamed animals (whichever came first).…
Things not to ask in a job interview
“Judge a person by their questions rather than by their answers.” – Voltaire (Francois-Marie Arouet) Is it bad that the first time I read that quote I thought: “where is the bathroom?”
Oldcomb’s Paradox
This post made me think a bit about the Newcomb paradox. Newcomb’s paradox is basically a prisoner’s dilemma with a sci fi twist. The neat version: You’re in a room with two boxes. Box A contains $1,000, box B could…