Hey guys, I found some people on the Internet that still think Sarah Palin is competent:

String theory is so messed up, It’s all tied up in knots.

I often make phenomenal judgments… just not about qualia.

What’s the nicest way to say “I really want to pay attention, but I don’t care about anything you’re going to say”?

I don’t know why I expected to get paid at 12:01 a.m. today: I mean, I had my money direct-deposited to my Wachovia bank account. :-S

I’ve gone beyond considering whether academia matters now: I BELIEVE the arguments for why it doesn’t matter. Makes writing papers hard…

I just told my brother I couldn’t help him get out of the backdoor draft because i had homework. I need alcohol.

… I need to find more philosophers that are on twitter.

When in panic or in doubt, run in circles scream and shout.

They always tell you that lying is wrong, but they never point out that sometimes it is very convenient.

Six word stories: I will suspend my campaign… Not!

You realize Kant could never play poker. Or at least wouldn’t have been any good at it.

Practicing some six word stories: “Will you marry me?” He lied.

I miss Obama’s original message: “Change, bitches.”

I fear nothing more than reading ‘let us presently dedicate some space to the elaboration of an unrelated point.’

I have to stop writing ‘oh, schnapp!’ on the margins of all my articles.

Why do Kuhn’s footnotes argue better and more than his text?

Kuhn in two sentences: People have big ideas, then everyone agrees, but now they can’t talk to people without these ideas! Oh Noes!! #philosophyhaikus

A historian of science can tell you what the writers were doing in the first season of Days of our Lives, but not What’s happening this week………. Unless they’re REALLY into Days of our Lives for some reason.

Historians are the accountants of academia.

Why does everyone ‘battle cancer?’ Why can’t anyone have a ‘good-natured rivalry’ with cancer?

Does it count as watching the debate if you’re making fun of them the entire time?

Influential philosophy in two sentences or less: I wonder what it’s like to be a bat… WHO KNOWS?? #philosophyhaikus

Why stealing food from the lounge is bad: I got chicken grease on my iPod and now it looks foggy. I don’t understand it: I’m a vegetarian!!

All men are mortal, socrates is a man, thus socrates is mortal… I reject premise two!

Me about politicians: They must hate their lives……. Hell, even I hate their lives.

That hat makes you look like an idiot! … So it suits you.

I made a car out of trash and a trash can out of car parts.

On the one hand, I want to solve all of the world’s problems, but on the other, I really want a lot of people to die.

I need to learn philosophical jiu jitsu.

Aww, crud, my browser history says there’s a 92% likelihood I’m female.

Man, people telling me they pay close attention to my updates has made me gun shy. And that’s barely a euphemism.

Laughter is good medicine so long as you don’t overdose.

They’re not religious. Unless you consider love a religion.. Which I don’t. I consider it a cult.

Yo @narfna, seriously: go here: I want you to be part of this, yeah? P.S. @meznor: you should also go there. I also want you on my super cool person constrained writing blog.

Things McCain should not say, “the guard traced a cross in the sand, so then i traced the letter ‘u.’”

The past version of myself gives me really bad advice.

If suicide is your final decision, you might as well go all out.

Six sodas for six dollars is a buck a pop.

I don’t need time management advice! I need one of those time turners from Harry Potter three.

The beauty of having meetings in restaurants is that even if nobody shows: food!

I worked for 25 hours straight before I took a break twenty minutes ago… jeez.