I’ll be 25 until further notice. This means that I was now born in 1982 until May 29, after which I will have been born in 1983.

Holy cow, that was @JamesBond style: I just posted today’s post with only ninety seconds to spare!

Four attractive women smiled at me today. This doubles my life total.

Leaving arizona because my passengers are lame and have ‘jobs’ and ‘families.’ pfft! Losers. Now to load up on energy drinks.

Ooh! I’m in Arizona! Look! Chalk art and bad music!

In arizona. It’s warm. My friends say i should take off my hoodie, but then how would i look cool?

It turns out the wall in arizona isn’t made to keep mexicans out, but to prevent arizonans from escaping.

In arizona. Figured out why John McCain wants to move to washington d.c. permanently.

You know what i’ve never seen that would be AWESOME? Baby juggling. I bet it’d be quite a show.

Okay, I’ll miss @srah first, then the rest of you can take turns, savvy?

Wow, I’m not friends with my own brother on facebook. How fratracidical. (But not really, I just wanted to use that word.)

Holy cow, my area code (575) is the same as the number of syllables in a haiku: 5-7-5. I bet you’re jealous.

My friend asked me if i knew the name of the ninja that defeated a whole town of samurai. I said i didn’t realize Harry Truman was a ninja.

I feel like writing in my diary… And this time i might tell the truth!

Parental Advisory: Explicit AND Implicit Content

I never understood why garfield hates mondays. its not like he works or anything. And jon works at home cause hes a cartoonist

‘Practice makes perfect’ is a bad thing to say to someone who just attempted suicide.

I just realized that This Week and Face the Nation kind of suck. I think my news ignorant friends may be onto something…