Oh Em Gee. I totally forgot to tweet something hilarious. Oops.

Grab a hold of your side: the funny joke is imminent.

You guys don’t even know how lucky you are to be following me. I’m going to do something REALLY funny, REALLY soon.

Ho ho ho, I’m sorry, I’m just laughing at that thing that I’m going to do soon. It’s going to be very funny.

Okay, my funny thing is going to come up pretty soon now. Get ready.

I’m going to say something funny soon. Be prepared to laugh.

Holy topeka! The Nielsen ratings diary came in and they included $30. Cash. As in not a check or money order.

Hi, i’m Super Pixel, i mean Regular Pixel. Damn it, I really suck at keeping a secret identity.

You know who i look down on? Short people. I mean, why couldn’t you just be taller? How hard is that?

I’m making a list of really awesome people I know. There’s a bunch. It makes me happy, but sad I don’t get to see them very often.

I don’t tell people my parents lend me money, i tell them i deal drugs to children. It’s more respectable.

Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. I just got selected to be a neilsen TV household! the power and subsequent responsibility are humbling.

You’re 25? Weren’t you 22 back in march? ‘Yeah, but i’ve had a few birthdays since then.’

Wow, it’s four weeks until I turn 25 again.

Oh, shoot. I just realized that I sent off a check to the university in which I wrote “President Martin’s sex change” in the ‘for’ section.

What do you have to do that’s better than think about naked hulk? I don’t know, think about the naked thing.

If we accept slippery slopes as logical fallacies, before you know it, we’ll all be wearing penguin-fur thongs!

The internet is down. Would i be sensitive or a sissy if i wept openly?