My goal in every psychological experiment is to be an outlier.

That’s not a Rorschach, that’s my handwriting!

It occurs to me that prisoners just have more dilemmas than the rest of us.

I’ve chosen all my jokes for next semester: logic, ethics, some bio, some cog sci, and perhaps responsibility or Rousseau.

I’m taking a nap. Where am I taking it? I’m taking it out back to shoot it.

Have you ever wondered if perhaps This is what it Is to be happy? Perhaps that’s all there is to it? Whenever I think that it makes me sad..

Invention idea- champagne served in a baby bottle.

I worry that one day I’ll recline my chair too far, fall, and crack open my head. Then the police report will say: “death by comfort.”

I’m going to my office to get some work done. I tried staying here but the TV just kept turning on and food just kept jumping into my mouth.

Why is John King subbing for Larry King? It’s the last name, isn’t it?

I print double sided because I can’t read that many pages.

Who wants to play an ultimatum game with me? I offer you $1 dollar(s).

Wait… just how big is a breadbox?

This is just bad tact- sending window repair people at 8:30 in the morning after election night.

YESS!!! Kay Hagan won! I moved to North Carolina purely to vote AGAINST Dole.

Just once i want to read ’emphasis removed.’

I had to tell Obama to stop spamming my phone.

“Life is full of qualitative differences.”