The south is so humid I bathe and don’t get dry for hours. Back in Arizona, you get dry while still showering.

I support Breast Cancer Week. The breasts are my #2 and #5 favorite body parts on a woman.

People ask me if my temporary tattoo is real. I say, “For Now.”

I don’t tweet unless I have something brilliant or hilarious to say. So… I’ll see you all in two years.

I’m going to start carrying a marker and using it on all the $20s I get as change. See how they like it.

I should prepare a tweet in case I get into a car accident. Preferably one that’s not admissable in court.

Love isn’t blind, but sometimes it wears beer goggles.

I’m sorry if I smell like I’ve just finished playing basketball. It’s because I just got back from playing soccer.

There was an original event that caused me to become so mysterious. But I can’t tell you what it was…. it’s secret!

Curiosity killed the first cat. Morbid curiosity killed the second.

I like being negative. Or rather, I don’t like not being negative.

@Pixelation hates it when people refer to themselves in the third person and cite themselves extensively. (Pixelation 2010)

I just ran over here and MAN ARE MY LEGS TIRED!! 😀

I tell my friends that I’m making them characters in my book, but I don’t tell them that all of the characters die.

It’s Saturday night and the lady is out of town. I don’t particularly want to go out, but anything’s better than writing microfiction alone. … Actually, I take that back. I dig microfiction. I just don’t know why I chose…

You know you’re a grad student when… the difference between long-edge binding and short-edge binding is obvious to you.

I feel like I have something to say. It might just be indigestion, though.

This humidity reminds me of the old Web site stickdeath.com